It’s that time of year again, where we either pull out all of the stops or pull out all of our hair. Searching for a Halloween costume that’s original, somewhat ‘cool’ and never been done before is like trying to convince TRUMP Global warming is real. Impossible.

I sometimes ask myself, ‘when will dressing up end?’ When does it become unacceptable as an adult to spend hard earned money on a Shrek costume, or spend hours of hard labour concocting your own costume? Does Halloween ever end? I guess you know its done when it comes to the point in your life where you just settle for a lack-lustre witches hat and fake nose or an unflattering pumpkin costume. 

In the past, I’ve done: drugged up Mia Wallace, lesbian Black Swan, your bog standard cheerleader, Morticia Addams  (because I couldn’t find a single thing except for a long black wig in China). And let’s not forget (or let’s) the hours myself, and (now) Miss Peverley spent sewing tacky frills onto black hotpants for our “Slutty Brides” costume for the Swankys Halloween party of the year*.

*All photo evidence and memory of the Swankys Party have now been burnt and destroyed. Except for Pam. She’s still around….somewhere. 

With that being said, here is your 2017 Halloween Costume guide.  #CreatedByKeeo

1 |  ‘Eleven’ from Stranger Things

If you don’t know who ‘Eleven’ is, then you’re missing out. Season 2 of ‘Stranger Things’ is just around the corner (27th October), so get in the know. The only other thing you need for this costume is a pair of white sneakers and a white wig. If you’re a guy and have a shaved head, this works too! If you can find a big enough dress. 

2 | Jessica Rabbit 

I’ve always wanted to do Jessica Rabbit, but my chest size doesn’t quite justify it [sigh]. This red dress is spot on, except, it has straps which you can just cut out and replace with a sewn in a strapless bra and VOILA!. The wig also comes with the purple gloves and a cigarette holder. Bonus. 

3 | GLOW

GLOW. The “Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling”. A great TV show I watched a couple of months ago and was totally inspired by the glitter, spandex and bodyslams. Make sure you have a comb at hand for some serious backcombing. 

4 | Cher 

As if!….I’ve never thought of this one before. By far my favourite movie of ALL TIME and it never once crossed my mind until today. How sporadic of me. A sexy little pair of red heels and you’re on the way to the party.

5 | Veronica

Archie comics were my childhood obsession back in the day and Veronica was by far the best character. Now, they’ve even made a show about the comic book (Riverdale). We all have a white school shirt knocking about, just add that and some cute heels for this sassy gals look.

6 | Miley Cyrus – ‘Wrecking Ball’ 

I have a lot of pregnant lady friends at the moment, so I just had to throw this one in as I think its hilarious. Super easy to make, grab a barbie, some chains, cut a big hole in a black shirt and wear a grey shirt underneath, (you may have to make mini Barbie underwear).

7 | Atomic Blonde –  Lorraine Broughton

Besides looking like a badass in this costume. You probably already have most of these clothes in your wardrobe and if you don’t, whatever you do buy can be worn throughout winter. Nothing better than a recycled Halloween costume.

8 | American Horror Story White Nun

What Halloween is REALLY all about. Scaring the shit out of people.  This costume does just that. If you can bring yourself to put contact lenses in and can fashion a nun’s outfit out of an old bed sheet. You will bring true justice to the holiday that is Halloween. 

9 | ‘Jem’ from Jem and the Holograms

ASOS Lace Shoulder Pad One Shoulder Sleeve Mini Dress

Nothing better than a throwback, especially to the 80’s. What better than Jem from ‘Jem and the Holograms’. Pair this pink dress with a wig and some rocker makeup. Add a blow-up guitar if you’re feeling extra. 

10 | (Hot) Sandy

wig

ASOS Black Elastic Belt

ASOS Off Shoulder Body With Wrap Front £14.00

ASOS PETITE Disco Leggings £18.00

River Island Barely There Heeled Sandals

I can bet my life savings on the fact that every girl has fantasised about having a ‘Sandy’ moment. Halloween is the time of year to make fantasies come true. Another costume which is probably already in your closet, just need to add the curly wig. (I know the wig looks a bit dodgy in the photo but I read the reviews and it’s decent) 

11 | ‘Patrick Bateman’- American Psycho 

Channel your inner psycho with this easy peasy costume. Add some blood for extra effect and get into the inner psyche of Patrick Bateman.  

12 | Ali G

BOOYAKASHA. Treat yourself to an Ali G marathon before Halloween commences, so you can brush up on Ali G mannerisms and one-liners to get the party go-ers giggling like little school girls. INNIT.

13 | Hugh Hefner

What better way to commemorate the PIMP extraordinaire. Mr Hefner lived the good life of women and money  but  on the contary, nothing lasts forever. So in tribute to the Hef man himself, grab this smokers jacket, pipe and sailors hat and if you can convince your other half put on the bunny costume, you gotta a winner!  

14 | Derek Zoolander

Ambi-turn yourself into this Halloween costume for shits and giggles. Put your best blue steel face on and get ready to be the overconfident, self-centered imbecile, that is Derek Zoolander.  “I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.”

15 | Pablo Escobar

‘The King of Cocaine’, the wealthiest criminal in history and the star of hit show ‘Narcos’. It’s THE man, Pablo. You may want need to stick a pillow under your shirt to give full justice to this costume unless you’re already packing*. 

*cocaine not included